six months

is it already February? has it already been six months? why yes, yes it has. it may seem small to some or it may seem like an eternity to others. i haven't really decided which one i side with quite yet. but i guess that doesn't really matter because my dear, sweet, elder stapley is 1/4 done with his mission. if there is one thing i have learned in these 6 months or 184 days is to not just count the days but make the days count. 

while he is on his mission i want to improve myself, discover my talents, make new friendships, enjoy each new day, become more converted to the gospel & ultimately become a better me. he is learning & growing & becoming closer to our Lord & Savior so why shouldn't i? & as we both grow closer to Christ we become closer to each other. i love that. & although i miss him something terrible... there is no where else in the world i would rather have him be than serving the Lord by preaching His gospel to the people of richmond, virginia. he is a shining example of righteousness & obedience to me everyday.

i can do 18 more months of this. no problem.

Some boys are trouble

i think all girls can agree that taylor swift has a way of taking our thoughts and feelings & putting them perfectly into words & songs. i don't know how she does it but it happens. this post is going to be a compilation of t.swift's songs that captures my exact feelings at this moment in my life. 

I'm sick and tired of your attitudeI'm feeling like I don't know youYou tell me that you love me then you cut me down
You could write a book on howTo ruin someone's perfect dayWell, I get so confused and frustrated
And here's to you and your temperYes, I remember what you said last nightAnd I know that you see what you're doing to meTell me, why? 

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

And I heard you moved on
From whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt
Is all I'll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see
He was long gone when he met me
And I realize the joke is on me

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in

When your saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything


I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy

So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're 
Just another picture to burn

it's best not to mess with boys you know are trouble. there is a reason people in your past are no longer in your future. trust yourself that you knew what you were doing back then. sometimes all you can do is hope for the best for them from a distance. there is only one person that can control your life and that person is you. even when people manipulate, abuse, & put you down you can chose to walk away and be unaffected by their actions. that's my new goal for the upcoming weeks. chose to act and not be acted upon.

everything has changed

change in one thing in this life that is always consistent. we are meant to grow, learn & become different. but just because change is an inevitable part of life.. it doesn't mean that it's easy. actually, i believe change is one of the biggest challenges in life. like i mentioned in this post, january is so very different. its a brand new with brand new memories ready to be made.

oh how true this is. its always interesting at the beginning of a new year to look at where you are now & then reflect back to year ago & realize how different your life was. 2012 will be a year to remember. i have met amazing people that will change my life forever. my relationship with my best friends was strengthened and continues to grow. others have fallen out of my life as their role in my life came to an end. & then i rekindled old friendships with those i never even realized i missed.

“It's funny how someone who was just a stranger last year, can mean so much to you now. It's terrible that someone who meant so much to you last year, can be just a stranger now. It's amazing what a year can do.”

this year i want to keep the friendships i have & make many new ones. i vow to blog more often. i will try to be a little kinder to everyone in my life. i hope to keep a positive attitude even on the days i am discouraged. i will be passionate & fearless. i will study more & work hard to make my dreams a reality. i will not repeat the past. i will try to remember that everyday is a new one. i will try to only use my words to uplift and comfort. i will be quicker to kneel.  i want to become more christ-like in all the things i do everyday.

2013 is a new year to become a better me. here we go.

man's search for meaning

why do i often blog in the early hours of the morning? maybe it's because i am a college student. maybe it's because i need a break from my paper that i am writing {yes, its due tomorrow}. maybe it's because it's when my best thoughts come to me. or maybe it's because this is the only time my internet will work in my apartment complex {frustration beyond belief is behind that statement}.

whatever the reason... i enjoy the time i get to reflect.

so i just finished the book "A Man's Search for Meaning" and if you haven't read it... i suggest you get on that. it will make you ponder & think about the true meaning of your existence & what drives you to do the things that you do. it's written by this psychiatrist Viktor Frankl that survives four concentration camps and shares his psychological views & experiences within the camp. let me just give you some of my favorite quotes of the book to give you an idea on how deep & inspiring it truly is.

• "We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
• "If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering... without suffering and death human life cannot be complete"
• "But there is no need to be ashamed of tears; for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, courage to suffer."
• "Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated."
• "Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him."
• "He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How."

and to think... those are just a couple. really makes you think doesn't it? i've found the meaning for my life... 

have you?

december first

this day is quite significant i suppose. it means one more month has come and gone. its the start of the month where we celebrate the birth of our lord & savoir, jesus christ. it is the month where my best friend & roommate leaves to serve a mission in chile. it marks four months down for steven. exactly twenty more months to go {this means 608 days left}. & it is the very last month of the year 2012.

this is the last month where everything will be the same. starting in january, my life is going to change dramatically. i won't have my three very best friends to turn to whenever i need them. one will be in the mtc. one will be back home in chicago. & thank goodness one of them will only be thirty minutes away but still its not the same as just a holler across the apartment hallway. i want to savor every moment that i have with them. its the last time we will all be together for at least 22 months. sometimes i can't help but to be overwhelmed with sadness. & feel as though i'm being left behind... i just have to remind myself i have important work to do here too. {plus: who can be sad in december? it might very well be my favorite month}

so in this month i will be... making memories and cherishing the old. saying "see you later" to my best friend. celebrating the eternal marriage of my brother. enjoying spending time with my lovingly family. rejoicing in the birth of my christ. & counting down to a brand new year with unknown adventures on the horizon.

a day of thanks.

wow. i have so many things to be grateful for. my heavenly father blessed me with an amazing life. really i {should} never have any complaints. a family that loves me. the true gospel with a living prophet. supportive friends that are always there for me. a loving missionary that makes me smile even thousands of miles away. several places that i can call "home". my great health. a great university where i can learn & develop. modern-day conveniences. my talents and abilities. & etc etc. those are some terrific blessings that often times i take for-granted.
so my goal: to live each day in thanksgiving for something i have in my life. take even 30 seconds to acknowledge & truly appreciate whatever that may be.

here's a few pictures from the family walk that we took on our day of thanks:

Kipton is just the cutest thing thing ever. he is getting so big 

just playing around at the park

my family is the greatest. i am so grateful for them. 

Congrats shay!

i have neglected to post about my dear friend and roommate, shaylee, on getting her mission call. last friday she opened that big white envelope and was shocked to be called to serve in.... Hong Kong, China! i am so excited for her and incredibly honored that she invited me to watch her open her call. her reaction was really priceless. you can view her thoughts and watch her video here! do it. 

congrats shay. i know you will do amazing things in china and really learn to love the people there. the lord will bless you for all your sacrifices. i am so beyond blessed to have a best friend like you to look up to all the time! i love you!