late night thoughts

well, clearly school has been taking up way too much of my time recently. and honestly, i feel like so much has changed in my life in just these short couple of months that have passed. where do i start?

missions. its been the topic of discussion for many weeks now. well, at least at byu campus. it was like a huge shock went though the lds community. soo... to answer those of you who are wondering...{you might be shocked} no, i am not going on a mission. why? its never been in my plan. and at this point in my life, i honestly feel like completing my education and getting a degree is what is most important. i feel good about my decision. yes, three of my best friends/roommates are going. my roomie, morgan, has her call and is called to serve in the chile, concepcion south mission. she reports to the mtc decemeber 19th. wow. fast huh? i am going to miss her bunches but she is going to spread the gospel to those wonderful people of chile (and trust me, they don't know how lucky they are...yet). shaylee just got her papers turned in yesterday! hooray! i can't wait to see where she goes. and haley is planning on starting her papers very soon.

so let's be honest.. ya? i am so extremely proud and excited for these three ladies that i love dearly to be serving the lord for eighteen months. but {this is where the honesty comes in}that doesn't mean my heart isn't totally breaking. seeing steven leave to go on a two year mission was hard enough. after i spent an amazing summer with this boy and practically spent all day, everyday with him, it was heartbreaking to see him leave. i didn't know saying goodbye was going to be that hard. and now.... all my best friends are leaving too? just rip my heart why don't ya! its true, a part of me will be missing until all those i love will be back... but. i realized that the lord needs those i love more than i do at this time. the work of the lord needs to go forth. and let me tell you... it's going forth in full force with all these sister missionaries storming the field!

so congrats, morg, haley, and shay. i love you more than anything and i am over-joyed with your decision to sacrifice eighteen months of your lives and give it over to the lord. you are truly needed where the lord asks you to serve and i can't wait for each of you to discover why. each one of you are an example of righteousness and obedience to me everyday. i feel so extremely blessed to call you my best friends and roommates. in the past year and half you have helped me grow, mature, learn, and become a better person. you have been my shoulders to cry on, my support team, my counselors, my partners in crime, my goofy best friends and my family here at college. now, i can't imagine my life without you three. how did i get along before you were there? thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me. i love you. let the letters begin. {the post office will learn to love me}

is it pathetic that i am bawling like a baby now? probably. but everyone should know that i am emotional by now. so although this past month has been difficult, long, and sometimes depressing.... i finally feel content with life. i don't know everything that is going to happen in the future. i don't have everything figured out {like i usually do}. each day brings surprises. sometimes bad things happen. sometimes i break down and cry. sometimes people hurt my feelings. sometimes i get a bad grade. sometimes it's too cold here and i miss my az sunshine. sometimes i miss my family a lot. and sometimes i miss steven so much my heart aches. but everything is going to be okay. life throws you some crazy turns and obstacles but in the end, you get through them and come out stronger. so continue onward with a smile on your face and think of all the blessings you have. all the people that love you. and how much heavenly father wants you to succeed. life is good.